My Dilemma

I am a wreck. I do not know how to get about to sitting down and finally going over my reviewers even for half an hour. The many hours spent sitting down during my review class doodling over hundreds of stuff. I almost feel that the lecturers were literally pumping information up inside my head and I am unconsciously refusing to budge.

We were told that we have to at least sit down and review an hour a day to to be able to make it. And I am now here not finding enough strength to get any of the loose leaves of my five pound reviewer stacked together.

Here is the picture. I am sitting inside that auditorium and all I have in mind is what to blog about and the many things that I have got in mind that I need to do. I would even get my mobile to check my mail at least every five minutes. I am definitely one distracted girl. Being the passionate person that I am, my tendency really is to focus on the object of my passion and pursue it. I can easily do multi-tasking but my concentration and all of my being is set on my passion.

Even as I share these things to my husband, I know I am in a real risk of flunking the board and that would be such a shame. But should it be that I would have that thought to motivate me to get my mind and heart on detour? I am determined to go on with the review and the exam. I will do what I can, but I just will not push myself to get serious and hit myself on the head while so doing. If ever I flunk, at least I made sure I had the people around me warned. The exam being barely two months away, I must really be in big trouble.

So Much To Do, So Little Time

I have once kidded dear hubby last week, "A blogging wife makes a sloppy housewife." We both looked around and we just smiled. It's true. But of course, I have been sick lately so that should also count.

But there is just this thing that I should really focus on. Seriously. Reviewing for the board. How now, can someone tell me, how can I possibly do everything!?! From taking care of my toddler, to keeping house, to doing my online job (which have doubled more than I have imagined), and now the review! Yes the review! I have officially started reviewing last Saturday. Read this for more on my disappointment in that school where I enrolled to review. I was telling myself, even if I pass the board and in the process torture myself reviewing, I will not earn half of what I am earning now as I do my online business even if I call myself a duly licensed, full fledged teacher. Of course this applies if I only teach locally.

I have got to get my mind focused. I have been talking to dear hubby about this lately and I told him, I could easily re-take the board in September, if ever. I will just take things easily for now. Why should I be hard on myself? Application for board costs less than a thousand. At least I could take it with the rest of my dear batchmates in September. ;-) Of course, I am still hoping I could make it effortlessly, but that's hoping against what? I know where I stand. If it will be God's will for me to pass, I will be oh-so-thankful! But if the Lord sees that I still do not have what it takes to be a teacher, then He will probably not give this to me. Which I would understand.

My priority is my family and I am just being practical. But I also so want to get over this board issue so I will still pray that I make it. :-)